We are in Media

Life is not here: how to stop being afraid of missing something

Do you think that all your acquaintances are successful people, and only you do not have time to do anything, mired in a routine? Congratulations, you have signs of FOMO syndrome

More and more often in a professional environment one can hear # nbsp; the term FOMO # nbsp; - feeling of missing out, the feeling that you are missing something. Something "important" passes by while you are busy with your own business. It is alarming and worrying. And it makes a person spray, grab onto everything and in despair jump into the last carriages of trains leaving in opposite directions.

If at least one of the situations listed below is painful for you, then I can assume that you, too, have become a victim of FOMO syndrome. Have you had similar thoughts?
“Former classmates are making a brilliant career, and I was 'stuck' in the second decree in a row. How many interesting projects I # nbsp; miss! #Nbsp; When I finally go to work, the market will not be the same and will not grow quickly. "
“Colleagues get a second degree and even an MBA, but I am completely mired in a work routine and miss my chance for development and career.”
“Friends posted a post that they are going to India for a retreat. 10 days of vipassana, and then a trip to Ayurvedic centers. How can family people carve out so much time for themselves? "
“When did she manage to give birth to her third child? She's only 30! And I haven’t even been married yet. ”
“How does she manage to be the HR director of a large company and still publish, speak and blog so much on social media? I am in the same position all day in the office, and I do not have a minute of free time. "

And I experienced the FOMO effect when my middle son was three months old. A new customer-employer called me, and I agreed to go to him with one of my partner colleagues. I really didn't want to do this. The kid was so vulnerable, small and touching. And at home there was a whole world: cozy and protected, like a cocoon, from which one does not want to get out into the outside world. Why did I agree to this meeting? It's all to blame for the stupid feeling that something will pass me by, that sitting at home, I'm missing out on career and financial opportunities.
On the morning of the day of the meeting, the baby had a fever. I rushed about like a tiger in a cage: I let my colleague, with whom I agreed to go, and my company, I look irresponsible in front of a new client! As a result, I did not go to the meeting, I stayed at home with my child, but I was very worried that I had failed and missed an important business event.

Now, with the passage of time, I don't even remember which company I was supposed to go to, but I remember very well how I worried about a sick child. What a foolishness on my part to think that I was missing something out there, outside, when the most important thing was with me, “inside” my world.

The same thing happens with social media users. Many there seem to be living a parallel life. People are driven by the same fear of missing something. It seems to them that real life is there, in virtual reality. The idea of ​​taking a break from social media # nbsp; makes many of us feel # nbsp; anxious and anxious. What if something is important? What if everyone knows, and I don't? And even for a few days not everyone succeeds in “falling out” of this aggressive flow of information and “getting off the radar” of their subscriptions. At the same time, # nbsp; those # nbsp; social networks and reinforce # nbsp; regret about missed opportunities. When an ordinary woman sees that others have time to build a career, give birth to children, go to retreats, publish books, study on all kinds of courses, launch their own online projects, it seems to her that she missed everything in the world and is now on the sidelines of someone else's success.

Work on yourself

FOMO syndrome is dangerous # nbsp; because it makes you doubt yourself and takes the focus away from things that are really important for a person. So how can you resist it?
There are two tactics you can use # nbsp; to prevent this feeling from destabilizing your life.

1) Ask yourself a question: let's say I realized this (went to a retreat, wrote a book, went to an MBA, began to learn Chinese), but no one except me knows about it and will not be able to appreciate it. Do I still feel # nbsp; from this happiness and satisfaction? If your answer is yes, then the goal is close to being true. Run any ideas and projects that are teasing you through this question. I'm sure many of them will turn out to be unnecessary.
2) There is a "theory of waves", according to which # nbsp; different spheres of life in different periods of time either rise or fall. Here the wave has lifted your career to the crest, and that one is developing rapidly and successfully without any obvious efforts on your part. The sphere of hobbies, personal time and leisure at that moment was at the bottom. And this is not a problem, because in the next period of time another wave will come, and you will have opportunities for rest and travel, and your career will slow down a little. and immediately. Listen and take a closer look at what is happening in your life, try to catch the current trend, focus on it and "ride the wave." It’s easier to succeed than to fight the tide.

Many things become obvious only after some time or from the height of the years lived and the experience gained. But life passes so quickly, it is so impetuous that it is important to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff in the moment (and not years later), to focus on the main thing and not feel regret if some of the opportunities fly by.

Victoria Filippova, Partner PROTALENT LAB, PCC ICF coach
Source: https: //www.forbes.ru/forbes-woman/371369-zhizn-ne-zdes-kak-perestat-boyatsya-chto-upustit